Don’t get in a yacht with this drug fiend.   His excessive exclamation points are a sure sign that his “coffee” is another type of stimulant.

It’s actually a natural progression for those who miss the warnings about sun damage and cigarette dangers.

Dear sir or mam:

Your excessive RTs are RTarded.  Do you have a stutter?

Judging by that facial hair, I’d vote for option C: Sit on couch and root for Dale Earnhardt.

Fashion security: the true value of a trust fund.

All the more beautiful because it doesn’t involve a Billy Joel drunk driving incident.

The only thing I hate more than bridge and tunnel people are ones without a substantive hobby. Scoff scoff.

Of course you do.   What better than a $200 bag to conceal your Wagner power painter full of bronzer and still look classy?

Don’t mess with a commodore.  He will seriously quit, do you understand that?